Down and Out- Neurotixicity
I've been feeling pretty blue about my neurotoxicity and the accompanying symptoms. These emotions have been bottled up cause it's hard for me to admit and acknowledge that I have really wonderful, excited feelings about the baby, but also sad feelings about the neurotoxicity and how it's limited my daily life and things I love to do. One major thing I've learned from all of this: In researching this illness (which I'm going to STOP because I've reached a point where it's no longer healthy for me to keep reading about it) I've discovered that one who is prone to this neurotoxicity is one whose liver does not adequately filter out toxins. I wonder if this is something genetic that was passed down to me from Grandma. John and I can't help but wonder if Grandma would have had her last two cancers, had she and Grandpa not lived so close to that Holly refinery for so many years. Maybe her body literally could not flush out all of those toxins in a significant way and that led her to developing the inner ear tumor and pancreatic cancer. If this is the case, I want everyone related to Grandma to know this- if you're ever in a situation in which a scent or fumes are giving you any kind of a negative reaction- get away from the source. Aside from that, I have got to accept that I have this illness and move on. 12-16-17
Baby Really Moving
Tonight John had the brilliant idea of watching "Dirty Rotten Scoundrels," one of my family's favorite movies and my mom's very favorite movie. I laid on my back for most of the movie and the baby was moving like mad! (I guess he liked the movie too!). It was really cool to feel him from both "sides"; to feel him move from the inside and the outside, as I pressed down on my abdomen with my hand. There was movement just to the right of my belly button (which I think was his head) and down lower, which I'm guessing was his feet/legs. Our boy is getting stronger and stronger. Now- not a day goes by that I don't feel him move. It's usually when I'm sitting or lying down. He always wants to be in motion! So cute. We're getting to know his personality already. I'm so happy to call him ours, and I don't know why but I get to thinking about him growing up one day and starting an adult life of his own, and it gets me so sad; sad that I don't get to have him as my little, innocent child forever. In reality he will be my child forever. And John and I will find so much joy in watching him become a man! 12-16-17
Ruby's Birthday Party
We got invited to Ruby's family birthday party and I'm so glad we were and that we were able to go! John was able to get the night nurse to cover the last two hours of his shift. The party was really so enjoyable for me and John. We got plenty of time with their Golden Doodle, Betsy, and so therefore fell more in love with the idea of getting one, ourselves, one day! Ruby is so so cute. One thing about that family that I love is their birthday traditions. One includes going around the room and sharing what you love about the birthday boy/ girl. Abbie and Spencer may let us babysit their golden doodle Sammy while they go to Hawaii. I feel so fortunate and loved by John's family. They've been nothing but welcoming in their endeavors to include me in their family activities. I know a lot of that has to do with the effect John has had on all of them. Like Britney always says- "John is a social genius." He really is. He has a way of connecting with people and staying connected with people in a way I've never seen before or experienced myself. I feel that my life has changed so much, since marrying him. Merging my life with his opened me up to so many new relationship opportunities. 12-17-17
Christmas Cards & Sickness
Our Christmas cards are finally printed, enveloped, addressed and sealed! And they're now on their way to our friends' and families' houses! Each year I really look forward to the process of these greeting cards, and sending them out. We enjoy letting our loved ones know we are thinking of them, and that they are special to us. Here's the final product. I couldn't save a very quality-rich version to my laptop, but you get the idea:
I got these sent out at about 9am this morning (beat the holiday rush). I wonder if I will be able to convince John to do matching pajama pictures next year with the baby...hmmm.... Time will tell. I think John will agree to pretty much anything if it will be something fun for the baby and me...When I got home I crawled back into bed with a nagging cough. Ugh. I just barely got over my food poisoning episode. Mom was nice enough to drop by a case of oranges today left over from her ward Christmas party. I love oranges.12-18-17
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